Waterbug

Possession

I HAVE to do it!

Interesting, being bound by what we think
frees us: Having.

It's a platitude: We are enslaved
by possessions. We are enslaved
because we have, and therefore,
we have to do.

We yearn for the freedom of action
we think will come from owning a Porsche
or a beautiful or rich spouse,
the wherewithall (and that is what it is
to have, for what we have is someWHERE
and WITH us and seems to be ALL) --
the wherewithall to go where we want
when we want, see, do, feel what we want,
if only we could have have have everything,
then we could do do do anything.
We think we must have
to do,

And so we have to do
all the things we have to do.

Dean

I don't HAVE to

Have to…

Oh, good,
I can stop
doing the things I HAVE to.

It's OK now
to stop being
correct.

I think I'll
go read
a book.

Pam

A Void Dance

The difference between singing
and being forced to sing,
dancing
and being forced to dance.

"Go play with your little cousin."
"Play nicely now. Let him
ride your trike."

War used to be fun
blowing up bodies and buildings
and being blown up -- isn't it fun
to watch movies where planets
get blown to bits? But then

someone told us we HAD to kill each other
("Go out and play with your friends, Dear!
You can sit and day dream when it's not
such a sunny day."), HAD to eat
our scrumptuous spinach, HAD to
give money to our governments, HAD to
work all day, HAD to please our parents,
HAD to HAD to HAD to...

and that makes us evil eventually,
because we are basically good, so
(when confusions need quick solutions)
have to force ourselves to do destructive things --
such as the things we do
to others "for their own good",
the sudden shifts in loyalty after we've failed
to live up to a group's ideals, the deadly duties --

have to grit our teeth and make our hands
destroy our ancient friends, have to keep telling ourselves
it's all for a good cause, a rightness that is
increasingly invisible.

Forcing ourselves to do things we hate to do becomes
identical with doing wrong.
So when others force us to do things,
we comply, robotically, and begin to feel
divorced from responsibility, in a "may as well
do anything" limbo; we begin to do things
we know to be evil, dancing to that irresistable
"HAVE-TO" beat. It becomes hard to stop dancing.
Perhaps if we dance hysterically enough,
someone will notice and shoot us,
so we can stop.

Dean

You'll sing, you'll sing

Remember when they said "you'll sing,
before I'm done" or pointed
the gun and said, "Let me see you dance."
I don't know that I've ever experienced that,
but I feel like I have, sated by cowboy
and mafia movies.

And, from my child's viewpoint,
what could be better ...
and more fun.

Sing, sing for me
and dance.

Pam

Do the Fugueyboogey

It's not that I can't dance to Bach,
but that my body's dance can't keep up
with my mind's.

Dean

Knowing and not knowing

The sneakiest thing
is when someone we like
tells us what we know.
I mean, we must know that,
mustn't we? Because we like
that person and we want to be thought well of.
And we must like what they like.

There's all sorts of things I know
that I'm not sure whether I know or not
because they're fraught with all this
emotional stuff. Of course, the Beatles
are the best music in the land (aren't they?)
but I can't dance to some of their tunes
(well, I can't dance to Bach either)
and disco isn't acceptable (but I CAN dance to it.)
Yeah, I mean like the BeeGees,
obviously not of the caliber of Beatles.

The question is,
why do I have to have these value judgments?
Why do I have to "know" and "like"
according to some scale of right and wrong?

Pam

On Knowing Things

Best if we knew what we knew
and knew that we knew it
and knew what we didn't know.
It is nearly impossible to learn
the things we don't know
we don't know, especially when we think
we know them.

Some wise-ass will ask,
"Are you sure of that?"
Indeed, how can we ever know
that we know? Easy: Knowledge
gets the expected and desired results.
Falsely assumed knowledge gives only
terminology to facilitate rationalization
of no results or unwanted results.

What of knowledge of things
from which we expect no results
(for example, the number of angels
that can stand on the head of a pin)?
How do we know when we know them?

I don't know. I suggest we have the angels
count off aloud. In any case, the question
is academic. However many angels might
stand on the head of a pin (how big a pin?),
none are there now. They're too busy
lurking in forests, making sure that no falling tree
goes unheard.

Dean